Lindsay’s Lawyer A Huge Failure — And She’s Still Broke

If at first you don’t succeed, fail, fail again.

At some point, you have to laugh feel sorry for Lindsay Lohan and today, that might be heightened more than ever.

The (sometimes?) actress’ new lawyer, Mark Heller attempted to get those perjury charges and the entire case surrounding them dismissed from court with claims that she wasn’t properly given her Miranda rights (that whole “you have the right to remain silent” speech you’ve probably memorized, thanks to those Law and Order marathons we’ve all seen).

Well, it was a half-assed decent attempt, but there was one problem — she didn’t need to be Mirandized.

When the accident occurred last year, Lindsay wasn’t arrested or in custody and it’s perfectly legal to question an accident victim without the need for their rights to be read.

    Sources connected to the case tell us Heller made some huge mistakes in filing the docs — maybe the biggest was that he attached a letter to the prosecutor touting Lindsay — he’s not supposed to try and influence judges outside of court so it’s a huge no-no.  We’re told the letter has been purged from his legal docs.

    Heller calls his papers a “Bill of Particulars” — bizarre and almost unheard of in California courts — which include a motion to suppress evidence, a motion to continue the case and a motion to dismiss charges.

Yep. Sounds like she’s got a big winner there.

But of course, this is Lindsay, queen of the Hot Mess Kingdom we’re talking about. So of course, this story isn’t done yet. Head on after the jump for more epic fail.

If Heller’s expecting to actually get paid for his shoddy services, he’s gonna have to get in line behind the IRS, who Linds owes for three years of missed taxes.

That’s right: THREE YEARS.

    This time, it’s the State of California that’s trying to collect … claiming LiLo owes $56,717.90 for unpaid income tax for 2011.

    In case you’re keeping score … the IRS was all over Lindsay’s ass for unpaid federal taxes for 2009 ($93,701.57) and 2010 ($140,203.30).

    Lohan was able to clear her 2009 debt thanks to a $100k check from her old pal Charlie Sheen … but it seems like she’s on her own for 2010 and 2011.

Oh, Lindsay. Sometimes, you’re in on the joke — but we’re still waiting for that day to happen.

Via Tabloid Prodigy